Check out my strong verbs!
Dig my quotation marks, they're loaded with detailed jargon.
Say, you have some great exclamation points,
Can I be your indirect object?
You may accuse me of using crude superlatives, suffice it to say,
My language is unbiased and suitable for all ears and eyes.
See, I was just eliminating some unwanted sentence fragments,
When I noticed your lovely semicolons.
Yeah! Real hot topics!
What'cha say we experiment with a little revision
Over a couple of dry cliches, like the italics do?
They're so romantic, those italics, with their titillating foreign accents
Maybe I'll let you punctuate my colon as a mark of introduction
But only for money, fame, or power.
I won't capitalize on that other stuff
Really, I have only one question mark for you
I hope you didn't misplace your modifier
Or were you gunn'a split with an infinitive?
Cuz, I really think we could make beautiful musical lyrics together
Well don't mind my obvious dangling participial, parenthetically,
I'm just running on in search of a proper period, so stop me first
If you can't locate my specific modifier
See, I've been outlining you,
Ever since my passive voice took note of your documented form
So if I said you had a great body of work
Would you hold it against me as a pretentious redundancy, please?