Friday, December 9, 2011

Book Burning for Amateurs

When selecting a book for burning, begin with one that is memorable, preferable one that has a catchy title. Once it is gone you need to recall it easily, so a note worthy book can help there. Try to choose an author who you disagree with strongly. Avoid someone who is highly popular as only you will be cheering the little conflagration. The topic is most important as is the writers politics, anti something, or a cause which you detest. Dont choose books in foreign languages, as this is a dead giveaway that you have not actually read the book. Just so long as you COULD have read the thing, we wont tell.

A big book is more fun than a little one, they last longer. Try to find some associates to cooperate in your cause. Invite them to toss in a few of their least favorite books too. The size of the blaze is an indication of commitment. Note; soaking the books in a propellant is considered cheating, but works quite well at making your blaze a stand out event. Books are like ideas, they seem very substantial at first, but just add a little heated controversy and most folks will drop them like hot potatoes.

Lastly, think about the books creator and how they appear to the public. If they should be severely challenged, a cute little kid or have been awarded something really impressive, like a Nobel Peace Prize, you may come off as a big bully. This touches on publicity, like the press. Make a few phone calls ahead of time as you dont get noticed for a pile of ashes. Location can also work to your advantage if there is a public space, you can get lots of attention. Just dont pick a spot like in front of the fire house or inside your locked jail cell.

Oh yeah, dont forget to have a message. The whole event could go up in smoke if you are asked, what is your purpose? and you are not prepared. Statements like I just hate the guy, or she is a really big poop dont cut it. Try working up a head of steam and spewing a lot of vitriol at the cameras. You would be surprised at how many people will follow a cause if you are really pissed off about something, anything. It also helps if you havent tried writing yourself. Since that could just make you appear all sour grapes if your stuff sucks. And they can always retaliate by burning your stuff, NOT COOL!

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